It’s funny to me how God works sometimes. I’ve had little moments where I’ve thought I’m blogging about my faith and what I think the Holy Spirit is telling me to share. and I think of who I used to be. Even who I was five years ago brings a small wave of shame to come over me. While I am still a work in progress, we all are I know, that person was angry and out of control at times. I thought of who I was and who I’m striving to be daily. How embarrassing the old me was. The last few days I’ve thought, “I’ll need to write about that sometime, so people don’t think I have it all together, I want to be honest in my writing.”
Fast forward to “my bible time”. My eyes have aged, and it took buying three different bibles to find one that I lovingly refer to as my “old lady bible”. It’s just large print, thumb index NLT y’all. I’m going over everything I’ve highlighted, underlined or circled and trying to keep the colors consistent between bibles. I know it’s a bit silly, but the smaller print is where my faith REALLY GREW, it’s an emotional attachment.
Anyway, I’m going thru Acts Chapter 9 and it’s about Saul. If you aren’t familiar with Saul, plain and simple, he was a bad dude. Seriously. The first verse “Meanwhile, Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers.” Acts 9:1 NLT. Saul is saved, gets baptized and immediately begins preaching about Jesus. This is where the Holy Spirit hit me hard, “All who heard him were amazed. ‘Isn’t this the same man who caused such devastation among Jesus’ followers in Jerusalem?’ they asked, “And didn’t he come here to arrest them and take them in chains to the leading priests?’” Acts 9:24 NLT Saul was remembered for the atrocious things he had done. Yet, he kept on, we learn in the next verse his “preaching became more and more powerful”.
If God can choose and use Saul for good, someone who was murdering his followers, he can use me. I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father’s love and mercy and grace. My past doesn’t define me, it has grown me.
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